By: Steven Barasch

Mindfulness is the idea that by focusing on what you’re doing, and being present in the moment, you can live a happier and more fulfilling life. This notion of “being mindful” has become popular in recent years. It’s not just a trend though

Imagine for a moment an activity you enjoy. It could be reading, painting, or playing sports. Now imagine if you had to do it with someone watching you to make sure you did it right. Not only would it cause some stress, but chances are you wouldn’t enjoy the activity anymore. Mindfulness is similar in that it forces us to focus on what we’re doing and not everything else.

Mindfulness is not about being present in one place for too long, but rather having an awareness of what is happening now. It’s about staying aware of our thoughts and feelings without letting them control us or become too tangled up in them. Mindfulness can help with many problems including anxiety, depression, chronic pain, addiction, weight problems, and much more. The benefits are endless when one starts practicing mindfulness techniques.

What is Mindfulness?

Just to be clear, for those of you that don’t know, mindfulness is a mental state of awareness and attentiveness to the present moment. There are two main perspectives on this state of awareness. The first is about the physical world; mindfulness is the observation of the present moment and how we interact with our environment. The second is about the “mind” world; it’s about the experience of our mind, and how we experience ourselves and our thoughts. The goal of mindfulness is to be aware of your thoughts and emotions without judgment or preconception. This is called “unjudging” your thoughts.

Taking a mindful approach to your life is one of the most important things you can do. Even though mindfulness is a form of meditation, you don’t have to go on a silent retreat, or even start sitting meditation every day.

Still Your Mind

We have so many thoughts. Most of which are not worth getting too wrapped up in. However, the thoughts we tend to get stuck in are the negative ones. Whether it’s comparing them to other people’s words and actions, the end result is the creation of negative emotions like anger, sadness, and fear. Often you may even question your thoughts and feel guilty for having them in the first place. It’s hard to observe your thoughts without judging them. Understand thoughts are just thoughts. They’re fleeting and impermanent. But you know what? It’s completely normal to have these types of thoughts because everyone has them – even the most enlightened masters on the planet! Here are some ways that will help you cut out the noise and live a still mind.

Breathing:

There is nothing more present in your life than breathing. You can focus on your breathing about anywhere you can take a ten-minute break during your day.

1. Sit up straight and close your eyes.

2. Focus on your breath and notice how it enters and exits your body.

3. Notice what it feels like to breathe in and out of your nose, mouth, or both at once.

4. If you notice thoughts popping up, simply acknowledge them and let them go before moving back to focusing on just one thing: your breathing.

Eating:

Bring your senses alive by smelling, savoring the taste and texture of the foods you enjoy instead of eating because it’s time to eat. You are already being mindful when you prepare your food recipes i.e., taste, seasoning, texture, temperature, so just carry the same focus when you bring the plate to the table and the fork to your mouth.

Interactions:

Family, friends, significant others, co-workers, and bosses are often exhausting daily interactions. With so many opinions coming at us from people we have different relationships with- whether in person or via phone call, text or email message – it’s hard not to be on the defensive when you’re just reacting to what your own personal beliefs are. Conflicts rule supreme! The old cliché “take a step back” isn’t enough. Practicing mindfulness alongside interacting with someone should mean being nonjudgmental about whatever thoughts come up for you as well any feelings that may arise during the interaction itself.

What does that mean?

It means being aware of your thoughts and emotions of judging yourself and others. It does not mean eliminating them. It’s about listening to what someone has to say. It’s not about being right or wrong. It’s not about getting the last word in. Learn to interact without inserting your agreements and disagreements. Thoughts are just thoughts. You don’t have to act or believe in them just be aware of them.

Non-judging is an important part of discernment, which is the process that allows us to distinguish what’s true from opinions, assumptions, and preferences. In other words, discernment is the ability to judge something well or the ability to understand and comprehend something. For example, noticing the distinctive details in a painting and understanding what makes art good and bad. When we see things as they really are, we have all the information needed to respond appropriately.

Walking:

Mindful walking is all about the present moment. It’s about letting go of thoughts that are unrelated to what you do in that moment.

It might sound difficult, but it’s something anyone can learn. All it takes is a little practice.

The first step to mindful walking with awareness is being fully conscious of your surroundings – noticing things like changes in color, how the air feels, or the sounds around you.

Next, pay attention to your steps and make sure they are purposeful and intentional. Paying attention to the way you walk will help release tension from your body and mind.

As with any new experience, it’s good to start out slow and then gradually pick up the pace as you feel more confident. Many of you are going to think you need to be outside to begin. Not true. You can have a mindful walk anywhere with only ten to twenty steps. That gives a huge range of opportunities including at your job, to and from your car and so many more. Try incorporating mindful walking into your everyday life!

Body Scanning:

Body scanning basically involves focusing on one part of your body at a time, from head to toe. It helps you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings, as well as the physical sensations you experience in different parts of your body. The key word here is “aware”. You may be uncomfortable with the thoughts and feelings you have to certain parts of your body and that’s fine if you incorporate non-judging into this mindful meditation.

To practice mindful meditation using body scanning, follow these steps:

1. Find a quiet space where you can be undisturbed and sit comfortably for 5-10 minutes. You may want to put on headphones and listen to soft music as well, which can block out any distracting noise.

2. Close your eyes and take deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. If those ideas don’t work well for you, try looking up at the ceiling or focusing on an object that’s stationary in front of you.

3. Start by bringing awareness to your toes and feet and notice how they feel: Is there pressure? Is there warmth? What do they look like? How heavy does each foot feel? You may find yourself noticing things you haven’t noticed before!

4. Continue this process with each part of your body until you’ve gone all the way up to the top of your head. Notice how each part feels, without judgment, and continue with this practice until the allotted time has passed.

Why Practice Mindfulness Now?

Why not start practicing mindfulness starting now? The question answers itself. If you’ve ever tried to be mindful you probably started out the day with good intentions, but by evening had forgotten how to be mindful. Not to worry though. It takes work to become mindful. The benefits of practicing mindfulness go beyond just starting off your day with good intentions. Here are just a few reasons why you should start now:

1. Healthy Relationships

One of the most powerful benefits of mindfulness practice is how it affects your relationships. Don’t be trapped by the word “relationship”. Relationships include your personal ones of course, and your coworkers, bosses, clients, and virtually everyone you communicate with through the day. They are all relationships you have varying in degrees. As you practice mindfulness, you’ll notice how you actually react to certain stimuli in your day.

Top Main Principles of Mindfulness

Being In The Present Moment

Learning to relax your mind and body is key to practicing mindfulness. The goal is to let go of anxiety or panic and just be in the present moment. Some people might find it easy to calm themselves down by listening to music, taking a bath with essential oils or reciting mantras that are meaningful for them such as “I am not my thoughts”.

The word stillness describes this mind state. It’s not about being still physically, but more of a mental state. It is being mindful of all sensations that arise from within oneself. Being in such a space can be very calming for many people who are constantly overthinking or dwelling on past experiences and problems.

Be Open

Have an open mind and learn to listen to your inner self. You can use your senses when practicing mindfulness. Try focusing on breathing, listening to music, or just observing your breath as it comes and goes.

Learn to Let Go

Learn to practice acceptance, tolerance and forgiveness of people and things that aren’t serving you. That means to not allow the person or thing to occupy your thoughts. It is a way for an individual to detach from someone so as not be affected by them anymore. It may involve changing one’s attitudes about certain circumstances in life such as making peace with oneself when something goes wrong. Accepting other people who are different than you; letting go of anger towards someone else even if they have said hurtful words or done something bad because forgiving will likely make both parties feel better emotionally.

Thoughts are just thoughts

Thoughts are not the end all be all. They’re just thoughts and should always be taken with a grain of salt, as they do not mean anything more than what is in your head at that moment. The way you think about every little thing will have an effect on how you feel physically, mentally, and emotionally. It’s important to keep these things in mind when thinking about something heavy or stressful. The point is to acknowledge your thoughts rather than judging them. Thoughts exist plain and simple.

Be Intentional About How You Are Living Your Life.

Being intentional can be a great way to be mindful. If you’re intentional in your choices and your actions, you are more likely to make positive choices and live a happier and more fulfilling life. You will find yourself happier because of the changes that come from being more mindful about what is going on around you. It also enables us to be more proactive when it comes to our personal development as a person; we are less likely to become complacent if we know exactly how things could go wrong for ourselves or others by not trying.

Allow Yourself to Feel

Being mindful of your thoughts and acknowledging them without being judgmental of them is one thing. When it comes to feelings, it’s important to allow yourself to feel whatever you feel. You’re going to feel it anyway. In life every day we feel bits and pieces of many things some good some bad. Yet life changing events are overwhelming devasting feelings that just don’t go away. Death of a loved one, a failed marriage or relationship, money anxieties are just few examples. There is one plain truth:

To the degree that we resist what we don’t want to feel is the degree to which we feel what we don’t want to feel.

One example of this is something we’ve all been through at one time or another. You’re in a church, a classroom, a meeting, and something really funny occurs. Because of where you are, laughing out loud is out of the question. So, you hold it in trying to let it pass. Even though the event has passed, it’s still playing in your mind over and over, like a movie. Suddenly, you burst into loud gut-wrenching laughter. All eyes in the room are now upon you.

Another example is when you have to sneeze. You use every technique known to avoid it. What happens? You sneeze even harder. Again, all eyes in the room are upon you. Obviously, these are lighthearted examples. I use them purposefully to draw parallels to the opposite. All things being equal, intense feelings on the other end of the spectrum have the same characteristics when they are resisted.

If you haven’t already, you’re going to read pieces on how you have a choice what to feel and force yourself not to accept what you’re feeling. Let me know how that works out for you. Acknowledging how you feel is critical is to yourself and being mindful. The choice of how to feel or not to feel only comes through acknowledgement. When someone says, “Oh, you shouldn’t feel that way,” it’s too late because you already do feel that way. Whether or not your feelings are based on accurate or inaccurate information your mind processed is the only question. The only way you can be mindful of your feelings is to acknowledge them and give them the room to exist. “Resistance is futile” as the saying goes.

“Between the eyes and ears there lie
The sounds of color and the light of a sigh
And to hear the sun, what a thing to believe
But it’s all around if we could but perceive
To know  ultra-violet, infra-red, and x-rays
Beauty to find in so many ways.” -Graeme Edge

Also see: Managing Your Expectations

Sources:

Mindfulness meditation: A research-proven way to reduce stress (apa.org)

How to Meditate – Well Guides – The New York Times (nytimes.com)

Mindfulness exercises – Mayo Clinic