By: Steven Barasch
If you recently broke up with your significant other, had a tragic loss, or just generally don’t have family in town to spend the holidays with, you might be feeling a bit lonely right about now. It’s a tough time of year to be alone especially if you’re not used to it. How to keep your head up this time of year without going into a depression is truly a direct challenge.
Don’t be too hard on yourself.
Whatever the circumstances, they are not half as important as to how you deal with yourself. It can be a mental minefield for the socially anxious. You can’t very well invite yourself to a friend’s family dinner. Nor should you feel obligated to go see to see family you usually avoid. The same holds true for partaking in events you don’t want to partake in. The only expectations you need to meet are your own, and you don’t owe anyone anything but yourself. Don’t be hard on yourself. You are in a set of circumstances life handed you.
Turn off social media.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of checking social media and feeling worse because it seems like everyone is having a great time while you’re sitting at home by yourself. That’s why it can be helpful to turn off social media for a bit. You can log in, wish everyone a happy holiday and log out. Take a break from scrolling or sign out of all your accounts. There’re also websites like Unplug that will block social media for you if you need that extra support. Social media can be a great tool to stay in touch with people and see what they’re up to, but it can also be a trap that doesn’t help you feel better. So if you’re feeling lonely, it may be a good idea to put your phone away for a bit so you don’t fall into a trap that makes you feel worse.
Do something you love.
Find something you love to do and do it for yourself. It doesn’t have to be anything huge or expensive. It can be something as simple as going for a walk outside, reading a book, or doing a craft like knitting or sewing. Doing something you love is a great way to get out of your head and feel good while spending time by yourself. It can also help you build a special new relationship with yourself that you can have for the rest of your life. So if you’re feeling lonely over the holidays, it can be a good idea to find something you love to do. You might find that doing what you love is a great way to take your mind off of the negative feelings that come with being lonely. It can also help you develop a great new relationship with yourself.
Go to a holiday event or party with friends.
In the 38 days between Thanksgiving and New Year’s Day, if you don’t have family in town and you really don’t want to be alone, you can always go to a holiday event with friends. Many holidays have parties or events in cities across the country, and they make the perfect place to go if you’re looking for some company. This can be a great way to meet new people and have a good time while also not being alone. And even though you’ll likely run into plenty of other people who are also by themselves, it doesn’t need to be a sad or lonely experience. You can go and have fun with friends while also helping other people who are by themselves. Going to a holiday event is a great way to meet new people, and enjoy some holiday cheer, have some fun, and appreciate the season.
Celebrate the things you’re grateful for and enjoy the food!
To be clear, I am writing about the actual eve and day of the holiday. There may be parties and events to attend during the season, yet when it comes to the actual eve and day you find yourself alone.
There’s a lot of hype about the idea of people feeling lonely during the holidays because the holidays are supposed to be a time for people to celebrate those they love. If you’re alone and feeling a bit blue, it can be a good idea to try to focus on the things you’re grateful for. This can be as simple as reflecting on all the amazing things that happened in your life this past year, thinking about all the people who love you, or just thinking about all the great things that are going to happen in the future. This can help to lift your spirits and make you feel better. And while you’re doing that, you can also try to focus on the food you’re eating rather than how you feel.
I have been celebrating these holidays alone more often than I care to remember. No, it’s not easy at times. However, I have made do by accepting it not to be confused with wanting it. I will prepare a full course meal for myself, including all the sides and desert pies. I put all the food on my table early afternoon, then watch the parades on tv, eat, watch some football, eat, touch base via phone with my out-of-town friends and family and eat some more. I’ll go for a walk to get some fresh air at some point to help clear my thoughts.
Take care of yourself physically, mentally and emotionally.
This time of year is filled with home baked goods of all kinds, parties, drinking, and gift giving. It also can be a great time to take care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally too. You might want to try to eat healthier, get more sleep, and exercise a bit so that you’re in a good place physically. You can also try practicing mindfulness, doing a gratitude journal, or journaling about your feelings, so that you’re in a better place mentally and emotionally. Taking care of yourself is one of the best ways you can show yourself that you love yourself, and it can help you to feel better when you’re feeling lonely over the holidays. And it doesn’t have to be too hard or take up too much of your time. You can find some easy ways to take care of yourself in just a few minutes every day. Honestly though, who can resist a homemade chocolate chip when it’s offered you. Also, buy a gift for yourself. You deserve it.
Work or Volunteer
If you work in one of those 24/7 industries and happen to be OFF that day, find someone on your shift who has a family and trade days off with them. You’ll be amazed how gratifying that is and how appreciative your co-worker will be. I gave a Christmas day away to someone who had a child at home who was about to experience their first Christmas. Such is the power of giving on Christmas.
You can also volunteer at a church or any organization that may need some help. Believe it or not, those positions fill up fast so get your name in early.